When I was growing up we used to go camping and in the evening my brother and I would go to the amusement arcade to spend our pennies.
1979 was the year I discovered the juke box and every night I would spend some of my money playing my favourite song over and over.
I Don’t Like Mondays - The Boomtown Rats
If I ever learn to play the piano this is the song I wish I could play. For me it brings back such happy memories.
It wasn’t until years later that Andrew told me what the song was about – a mass shooting in America, nowadays an all too common occurrence. I was shocked once more just this morning when I heard the news of yet another tragedy at the weekend.
There are of course other songs with Monday in the title.
Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters
Often played when growing up. It expressed my mood as a lovelorn teenager!
Manic Monday - The Bangles
Anything by The Bangles takes me back to my gap year in New Zealand and my time as a student getting my degree.
The truth is I don’t dislike Mondays at all. I love it when I finally get the boys out of the house for school and have the place to myself. There’s a sigh and a chance to turn up the music even louder and a just be ME!!
It is so good to finally have a complete day to myself (well until 3 when school finishes!). A chance to set my own agenda. I have got so much to do. I’ve written a partial list and now I’ve circled the key things I really SHOULD get done today. Realistically I don’t see me even getting all of these jobs done but I’m glad of the breather.
I’ve not been sleeping very well again, I thought it was getting better over Christmas and New Year but now I think it was just because I had put the LONG list on hold. Now it’s going round and round my head.
For all I’m happy to share my life with you on this blog I’m also a private, independent person and want to do everything myself. I am asking for help and getting better at it but some decisions need to be taken on my own.
What I have done today is sort out some of Andrew’s clothes to take to the church charity shop tomorrow. Can I hear some tutting? People give such conflicting advice and I’m sure there are some of you wondering at my wisdom. While others are wholeheartedly supporting me.
It’s something I feel able to do and it’s another tick on my list. I haven’t chucked it ALL out. I’ve kept the really special items. Really I’ve only gone through the sweatshirts, there’s still Tshirts and shirts to sort through. I’ve just picked out what I know will sell at this time of year. Ever practical!
When my Grandad died I inherited one of his shirts and a cardigan. The cardigan had already seen better days and was darned at the elbows. There is a photo of my Grandad wearing it on my mantelpiece. I wore it as a student until the day I didn’t want it any more. It no longer held any emotional attachment and I was able to throw it away. I dithered a couple of times, with the cardigan held over the rubbish bag but finally I was ready to let go.
When Andrew’s brother was visiting after Christmas I offered him and my grown up nephews a look in the wardrobe to see if there was anything they wanted. None of them took me up on the offer although my sister-in-law took a couple of sweatshirts she’d never seen Andrew wear and said she’s hide them with Andrew’s brother’s clothes. So maybe one day he’ll be wearing one when I see him and it will make me smile!
What also made me smile this morning was listening again to Manic Monday by The Bangles. There’s a line in it that says
it takes me so long just to figure out what I’m going to wear
Andrew would be sniggering at that one! He always said I took too much time on that decision.
Well today I’ve got on an old shirt of his with his big baggy jumper over the top.
It’s a day to be me, and a day to move on.
A day to remember and a day to smile.
It’s a Monday, it’s rainy and it’s manic.
I have sooooooo much to do but somehow I have to keep moving forward.