"Let’s go for a walk in the garden.”

Andrew would hold out his hand.

“Come on; let’s go for a walk in the garden.” 

I’d abandon whatever I was doing and have to follow.  Sometimes we’d venture further and explore the neighbourhood.  Looking for secret pathways and being nosy.  Who was building what and how were those new houses getting on?

Mostly Andrew was quite content just surveying his own land. We are fortunate to have a larger than average garden.  Those of you who know me will be laughing at the understatement!  It is a special place even so these days I struggle to see all of its advantages as the enormity of responsibility closes in.

While we walked, we talked and always held hands.  They were special times. 

We spent so many hours together and I always knew we were blessed with Andrew’s shift patterns to get to spend so much time together.  Now it seems we didn’t spend nearly enough time in each other’s company.

I’ve been for a walk in the garden this morning, picking daffodils.  Some are fully open and bright like the sun.  Others are packed up tight, not quite brave enough to make an appearance.

The snowdrops have has their day now and are past their best.  I wrote about them in January.  We’ve all moved on since then.

New buds and leaves are forming on the trees and bushes.  Those determined oak leaves that were still clinging to the tree in December have long gone.

The seasons keep changing and now I find myself looking forward to the bluebells which will follow the daffodils.  I’m thinking ahead.

By then the grass will need cutting but let’s not dwell on that dilemma – cutting the grass was always Andrew’s job!

I also stopped in the garden this morning and sat in one of our favourite spots.  It’s become my place to go and talk to Andrew.  To tell him all my worries and how I am feeling.

Sometimes I just sit and cry.  In fact I think I’m crying more and more, certainly the tears seem to be flowing more readily and easily.  I always knew they were there but somehow I have managed to work out the release mechanism. 

As I sat I reflected on my week.  I’ve won some battles although there are many challenges still remaining. It’s an uphill struggle in places and sometimes all I can see is one problem after another.   My feet slip and the hill becomes a never ending mountain.

However today the sky is blue and the birds are singing. 

Today is a perfect day for a walk in the garden with Andrew.