Sunday, 4 March 2012

One Hundred Not Out

I have been very aware recently that I am coming up to my one hundredth post on unravelling-edges. For a while I have been pondering what words of wisdom I shall write. Such a momentous number requires something illuminating and profound!

Well this is IT and I am all out of inspiration.

I have reached another dip in the road, yet another stopping point where I wonder if life will ever be the same again.

Of course it NEVER will and I am forever fighting the fact there will always be clouds on the horizon that can with short notice drop another bucketful of tears.

I want the sunny skies and happy days back, not that married life was ever plain sailing but it just seems a whole lot easier than this.

Everything seems so immovable and heavy. Change appears impossible.

I’ve failed in my lent challenge to get up early every morning and set aside the time to turn this blog into a manuscript for a book. I am always in such a hurry get my story “out there”, afraid someone else will take my idea and produce something far more marketable and appealing. I am frightened I will miss the boat with the publishing world, that my little story will be overlooked.

“grief is sooooo last year, now we are looking for happy endings.”

But here I am one hundred posts in (and 85 posts on re-ravelling), still writing in my little corner trying to change the world. And there you are reading this, your comments and encouragement invaluable droplets of hope.

Maybe just to have written so far is my achievement and something I should be proud of?

My parents both left school at 15 to start working and they had no aspirations for me to stay on at school beyond 16. However I never even considered leaving school so early. I knew from quite early on that I would continue in education all the way to getting my degree, even though I had no idea what that entailed. I was the girl who rebelled by staying at school not giving up at the earliest opportunity!

Thoughts about my writing are the same, I will continue. There is still a mountain to climb so why would I give up now when I have come so far?  

Often I think I give up too easily, maybe I just pick my battles after all?
So it’s time to lace up those boots, wrap up against that howling wind and carry on.

Continuing to follow me is optional and many thanks to those of you who have made it this far…


  1. Am opting in and would like to say congratulations! Take your time over the book idea use the time to improve on your ideas. This blog is original and heartwarming and true - reflecting you. And who can blame you for losing a bit of inspiration after one-hundred and counting blogs! I am grateful for your reflections, they sometimes help me see.
    Grief is never soooo last year like last years trendy clothes bagged up awaiting the charity shop hangers. Grief can't be bagged up, it will find its way out and I think your writing is griefs and your release, or a part of it at least.
    You are in a dip in the road, can't move and top it, it's raining tears. When the dip fills with your tears you will be raised further out of the dip until you reach the top again, or somewhere near it, from there it will only be a few steps,(you may have to plod a bit but your boots look like they are up to it) until you are on the level and able to move along the road again. As always is will contain pot-holes and we plod, stumble and trundle along. I hope there is something good around the corner, waiting just for you.

  2. I had just been thinking that your writing should be turned into a book when I read this. Grief is always going to be talked about ,there will always be people for whom a book like yours will let them know they are not going through it alone and that other people have shared the same feelings they have Do not be disheartened your writing is lovely and crying out to being shared by a wider audience.