Friday, 9 December 2011

Where’s that mad woman now?

It was about a year ago I wrote about a rather fraught and explosive incident I had in our local supermarket.

I was accused by being a “mad woman” by another shopper as my emotions and grief over-spilled at the checkout.  With an almighty roar I exclaimed I had a right to be angry as my husband had recently died.

Not my proudest moment but a typically very honest one.

So where is the “mad woman” now?

She’s a little bit calmer and wiser, adapting to a different life but the emotions are still there.  No longer as raw or as close to the surface but they do occasionally escape.

Far more often now it is when I am alone with my thoughts that the tears well up but now the sad tears are mixed with a sprinkling of happier ones.

It is astonishing to realise how far I have already come and sometimes I can't believe over a year has already passed.  Looking back is a good way of showing progress.

Looking forward shows a new way ahead but I always keep an eye on the photo of Andrew that sits by my laptop.  Ever smiling, ever present, gently urging me to not get mad and not stay sad.  Still encouraging me to carry on.

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